An apology of sorts

Me and my big mouth…well, keyboard anyway.

I have to say that I am surprised. Honestly, I had no idea that my words could have an impact in any way. It’s an illusion recently shattered, and the shards are hard to dispose of.

People actually read my blog? And they are affected by it? Hard for me to swallow, considering my relative inability to affect people when I feel like I’m trying very hard to. I suppose that’s what was getting me down, and consequently some stuff I wrote on this blog made the impression that I didn’t have ANY fun playing with Gypsy Bandwagon at Jack of the Wood.

I apologize for this impression. Playing with GB is really a lot of fun. I love being with Lance and Carissa, as well as my wife, Karin (who is in the band too). But the time demands were too much on me two weekends ago, and I let my poor mood affect what I was writing about the band.

I recall that after the Beatles' famous Shea Stadium concert that George Harrison was supposed to have said, “That’s it lads, I’m not a Beatle anymore”. This quote shocked me when I first read it. But one had to wonder why he kept playing with the band for years afterward if that’s what he really felt.

Now, far be it from me to go from saying that my words are insignificant to comparing myself to George Harrison. But then I have gone and done that, haven’t I? Well, only in the sense that I am a human being, capable of saying things I don’t really mean, or never really intended when I am in a vulnerable mood. Any other comparison of Gypsy Bandwagon members to any Beatles will have to be left to future generations. (This is a joke BTW, I expect future people to say, "Gypsy who?")

The point is, I like playing with GB. But in the week leading up to the gig at Jack of the Wood we’d had two deaths in the family. We also have been having issues with several of our friends, and as noted before, stress was beginning to get to me.

So if anything that I wrote in a previous blog reflected poorly on my band mates, or on Jack of the Wood as a venue, I apologize. My mood was not their fault.

I’m working on it. I expressed some of my frustration to Karin, Lance, and Carissa this afternoon when they were here in my studio. It surprises me just how much stuff could be dredged up by the death of two Aunts in a week’s time. I’m finding that stuff that I thought I was done with has come back to haunt me, and other stuff that I thought would affect me more hasn’t.

It’s not that I’m angry at my Aunts, or members of my family. Nor with the band. I’m finding that I still have anger at an unnamed educator who’s class I had the displeasure to attend. I mean, where’d THAT come from? I thought I was done with that. But the mind is a strange thing, and it seems by stirring up my childhood emotions about my love for my Aunts, that a lot of other stuff got stirred up as well. And it’s made my days difficult. Aside from the one nightmare about the unnamed educator, the nights have been pretty uneventful.

Fortunately the weather has turned. God has been gracious and we’ve had two beautiful days in a row, and I’ve gone out walking on the Blue Ridge Parkway both days. So now I’m sore physically, but not so much emotionally.

I’ll keep at it.

But to sum up: sorry that my mood affected the blog entries. I had no idea that anyone was paying attention, but I will try to measure my words more carefully from now on.

Visit to the VA hospital, etc.

Been doing a lot of work lately, but not much I can post. Sorry. I've been hard at work inking some pages for the next issue of Drastik. That's been fun and challenging. I finally got started on that book "Adam among the Gods". It's for Aazurn Publishing AAZURN and is coming along pretty well. I was asked to draw it in a 50s Curt Swan sort of style, and so I've been digging for that sort of look in all of my comics. I don't have a lot of mid 50s Swan, believe it or not! I did manage to find some of his 60s work, and the 70s stuff on Superman was at hand. But I've also managed to incorporate some sensibily of Al Parker's illustration work from the 50s. Thank goodness for Vincent DeFate's "Infinite Worlds" book. Anyone with an interest in Science Fiction illustration owes it to themselves to get a copy of this book. I found out about a few years back in an old SF magazine from the mid 90s, I went looking for a copy on Amazon.com and got one for $11 plus postage. Considering the amount of inspiration I've gotten from it, it's one of the better buys I've ever made.

But the real story here (as indicated by the Title above, see also: "getting to the point") is the visit to the VA hospital in Asheville, NC this past Saturday. I went with several other members of the Southeast Chapter of the National Cartoonists Society SENCS
Bruce Higdon (our chapter President), along with his son BJ, Jack Cassady (our former chapter President), David Barbour, Mike Mikula, Karin and me all went out to the VA to draw cartoons for the Vets. It was a great time. Which is something for me to say, as I hate hospitals in general. We got a chance to say "thanks" to all the Vets for their service. We met guys from WWII, Korea, Viet Nam, the Gulf War, Afghanistan, and Iraq. Everyone was in good spirits, and we were greeted with great enthusiasm by everyone we spoke to.

We hope to be able to visit again soon, but that will depend on the VA being able to allow it. It's sad to say, but since the terrorist attacks began security has been an issue, even in VA hospitals. Between myths about the Vets (i.e. All are disgrutled and bitter), terrorists that might take advantage of the Vets, and misguided individuals or groups that might use the ill to make a political statement, it's hard for volunteers to volunteer. I'm not complaining, mind you. I understand why the VA has to have the rules. But I think that if we, as a nation, treated the Vets with a bit more respect things would be better.

So, today's moral: Thank a VET! You'll be glad you did.

The Rock Star Life is not for me!

Been so long since I posted here. A lot has happened since the last one. Most notably Gypsy Bandwagon's debut at Jack of the Wood in downtown Asheville, on Saint Patrick's day.

I have a bunch of notes from sitting there for hours waiting on Karin, Carissa, and Lance to return from the other gig with Celtic Knot. But they aren't the sort of thing I want to share with the world. Mostly about boredom.

Ultimately Lance and I decided (after the gig) that two shows in one night is too much for any of us. Even those of us who only have to sit and watch instruments for hours on end.

Guess what we did the next day? Celtic Knot went to play a fund-raiser in Tryon, NC. I went with them (I actually drove the biggest part of the band). Way too much for one weekend! Especially after getting home at 3 am the night before.

But it wasn't over yet. Karin had to play with Bean Sidhe (Banshee) on Sunday evening! By the time it was through there was not a nerve left. It's not that the company was always annoying (although there were some encounters over the weekend that I don't care to mention), but it was just too much of…well, everything. I needed time to unwind.

So I took yesterday off. I couldn't think straight. I just barely got some tax forms taken care of today. I can't imagine what they would have been like if I'd tackled them yesterday.

No. The Rock Star stuff's not for me. I need to be in my little studio drawing more often than I have been. Today was a relief. I just went back to inking. It was a blessing.

Of course, there is a Gypsy Bandwagon show at Lake Junaluska on Thursday. I may be able to handle it by then. I mean, I did manage to put my drums back together today, rather than leaving them scattered on the floor after dropping them off Saturday morning at 3am. I had thought that perhaps I'd never be able to look at the drum set again. I haven't played it. But it's all together if I want to.

Don't know how some guys do it.

Stress!

I haven’t blogged in forever, it seems.

MegaCon went well, but then things have seemed to change abruptly. My wife, Karin, and I were both commenting on the suddeness of change. That and the fact that usually it’s only in extreme retrospect that one notices the major changes. September 11, 2001 nonwithstanding, usually you look back a number years later and say, “my, things sure have changed!” This year is different. I’ve even made a note in my calendar that says, “the month everything changed.”

Sad to say that MegaCon wasn’t what I’d hoped it would be. Not a slam on MegaCon per se, nor anyone associated with it. But while Friday February 24 was a pretty good day as convention Fridays go, both Saturday and Sunday were slow. I did meet a particularly good artist, Alecia Rodriguez and her husband Raphael on Saturday, as well as meeting Chuck Dixon on Sunday. But I could have done that just hanging out. I didn’t need to spend both days languishing behind a table to meet them…well, maybe.

But after coming home I noticed a definite change in things:

1) My daily schedule has changed. In times past I have had, for lack of a better term, gaps in my daily schedule. Often I would finish up with one job and then have time to kick back and think about it before proceeding to the next. Sometimes I even found time to clean my office, arrange files, or maybe write in my blog. Since the first of the year I’ve found less and less of that time. Quite frankly, I now end my days by saying, “it’s time to go home, leave it until tomorrow.” In times past I would not have left an inking brush uncleaned before heading home. I have now left my brushes uncleaned several times, simply because I am too busy to make sure they get washed.

2) More emphasis on Gypsy Bandwagon. This is not to say that I am abandoning my art. As noted above, I have had more work than ever this year. I have several pieces pending at all times. But the evenings are taken up with practices. Spare moments involve either listening to old tracks to refresh my memory, or working on new pieces for the band. I’ve spent more money on the band lately than I ever expected to, buying equipment, costumes, promotion materials, etc. The interesting thing is that it seems to be paying off. Gypsy Bandwagon is playing “the” gig in Asheville, NC this weekend. We have the Saint Patrick’s show at Jack of the Wood. Imagine my surprise.

Gypsy Bandwagon is becoming the topic of discussion everywhere I go. And it’s not always me that brings it up! The WNC meeting of the Southeast Chapter of the National Cartoonists Society was spent, in part, discussing my band and the upcoming show. I’m flattered and embarrassed at the same time. I didn’t mean for the meeting to go off in that direction. But the guys are very supportive.

3) Family changes. I was thrilled to have the opportunity to spend some time with my oldest brother while we were in Florida. We ended up going to the Melbourne Zoo and kayaking (Melbourne’s Zoo is the only zoo in the U.S. with on-site kayaking) around the place. Very fun, and a nice time with my brother. I also got to spend some time with my sister-in-law, just talking. In fact Karin and I spent a couple of extra hours talking on the morning we were leaving, and got back to North Carolina very late.

We hadn’t expected to see them again so soon. But my Aunt Audrey passed away last Wednesday, and the “Florida Lyles” came up to the funeral. Afterward my brother tagged along on a road trip I had to take to Tennessee to deliver a rush job I had taken on before realizing that my Aunt was as bad off as she was.

So just when we were all settling in to coping with Aunt Audrey passing, my Aunt Barbara passed this morning. The family will have to deal with that this week.

4) Changes in friend’s lives also challenge us more now than ever. In the past couple of weeks another big change has been brewing. A good friend, who’s been attending our church since childhood has a family that is being completely drawn into a well known cult. As a consequence, she is getting dumped on more than ever. Things have never been that good for her to begin with, but this cult thing has just given her family one more reason to make a “Cinderella” out of her.

When I say “Cinderella” I don’t mean the final state of that character. I mean the put-upon girl who is expected to do all the chores around the house and is ignored otherwise. I’d like to see her break away from the family and find her own place in the world. But she seems committed, at least for now, to trying to help her family get out of this situation.

Her decision to reject their cult has greatly strengthened her own true faith in Jesus Christ. I’m glad to see that.

5) Our favorite grocery store has gone out of business. For the past twenty years this particular grocery has been a part of my life. When Karin and I were first married and we moved back to North Carolina (18 years ago) we shopped there regularly. When we lived in Salisbury we shopped at the same chain. When we visit our friends in Charlotte we shop at the same chain.

But the local franchise shut down last week. It may not seem like a big thing, but it’s almost as if we’ve moved. There are two stores of the same chain that are still close, but now rather than being only four miles away, we’d have to drive twelve miles. So we’re trying to find a grocery that’s closer that still carries the sort of foods we have grown accustom to at prices that are similar. I’m not sure how that’s going.

Additionally our credit union is situated in the front of the old grocery. So all our banking now involves an additional side-trip. Whereas, in the past, we could go and make a deposit or withdrawal then walk to get our shopping done, we now have to make a stop along the way.

So these changes are resulting in some stress. I’m not as able to absorb the stresses as I once was. When Karin and I married I moved five times in one year. I’m pretty sure I couldn’t handle that now. We just got our Christmas tree down last week. There are still ornaments scattered around the living room floor, waiting to be properly packed away.

All this and I still managed to turn out two pieces last week. That may not seem like much to some, but I consider it a triumph.